Shipping policy
Tear Factor Shipping Policy – Tears Ship Fast & Hot
Whaaat?! Your order just left the torture chamber and is screaming toward your door.
All Tear Factor bottles ship from our Virginia pain lab. Every coffin, vial, and woozy is packed like it owes us money — heavyweight glass, bubble wrap fortress, zero mercy for breakage.
Processing Time – We Don’t Sleep on Tears
- Orders placed before 12 PM ET (Mon–Fri) → ship SAME DAY
- After 12 PM ET → ship next business day
- Weekend orders → ship Monday (even the Reaper needs a day off)
- Current speed: 1–2 business days fulfillment. Tears wait for no one.
U.S. Shipping Rates (Lower 48)
- Orders under $60 → $7.99 flat (USPS Priority 2–3 days)
- Orders $60+ → FREE SHIPPING (USPS Priority 2–3 days)
- Need it yesterday? Express upgrade at checkout → +$18–$28 (1–2 days)
Grab the Flagship Flight ($39.99) + A Drip of Death and hit free shipping. Smart tears are happy tears.
Alaska · Hawaii · Puerto Rico
- $14.99 flat (USPS Priority)
- Free over $100
International Shipping
Not yet. We’re still teaching the Reaper how to cross borders without starting fires. Q2 2026 drop. Join the waitlist — we’ll scream when it from the rooftops.
Tracking & Tears
- Tracking number hits your inbox faster than Peach Reaper hits your soul
- Signature required on orders $150+ (so your roommate doesn’t steal your suffering)
- USPS runs the last mile — we can’t control their life choices
Broken Bottles or Lost Souls
If your package arrives looking like it lost a fight with the devil:
- Send photos to pain@tearfactor.com within 7 days
- We reship or refund instantly. No questions. No milk required.
- Every box insured. You’re safe.
Fine Print (Read It While Crying)
- No PO Boxes for Express
- Extreme weather? We hold orders so your glass doesn’t explode (we’ll email)
- Business days only — weekends are for recovery
Last updated: November 18, 2025
Questions? pain@tearfactor.com – we answer faster than you’ll regret that third drip.